Feeling anxious, overwhelmed or stressed? It might be the late-20s trap.

For one reason or another, the approach to the big 3 0 can be one of the most anxiety-inducing times of your life. A common occurrence for many, the inevitable and all-be-it, quick end to your 20s can create an overwhelming sense of despair.

Whether you feel like you are running out of time, haven’t achieved as much as you should have, or are not where your peers are, the approach to the dreaded 30s can be suffocating. Compounded with the draining expectations of others, the feeling of simply existing in your late 20s can be panic-inducing. Because by 30, we should have it all together, whatever that means.

We should be successful in our careers and relationships, be homeowners and should be able to effectively juggle a social calendar whilst prioritising the needs and wants of others. Gone is the liberated feeling of having options and agency, and it is replaced with structure and rigidity that aligns with the norms and expectations placed upon us by others.

With all of the above coming to a head in your late 20s, the overwhelming sense of panic, despair and angst we feel is inevitable. With all of the expectations for life as a 30-year-old rooted in outdated, unfair and unrealistic norms, is it any wonder we dread ageing?

That we feel overcome thinking of a new decade? We think of our late 20s as the beginning of the end and as the slow, painful march to death.

It is, of course, unsurprising then that the overwhelming pressure and urgency felt in our late 20s pushes so many to settle into choices and decisions that, under ordinary circumstances, they would avoid. Too often, we see women and women of colour, especially, succumb to the exhaustion and deeply unsettling pressure your late 20s can bring. As a result, countless WoC find themselves lost later in life, having rushed into decisions, roles, and lifestyles in their late 20s that never truly aligned with their goals.

We know how unnerving your late 20s can be and how the overwhelming pressure from every different angle can lead you onto a path that is worlds apart from where you thought you would be.

Here at GirlDreamer, we want to help you avoid the trap your late 20s can create. We want to help ensure that you do not succumb to pressure, fall into the expectations of others and begin a life that is created out of despair.

Below are our top tricks on how to overcome the exhaustion and overwhelm of your late 20s and enter your thirties on a high!

Avoid Rushing Into Anything

As you approach your late 20s, the invisible alarm clock begins counting down. The alarm bells begin ringing, and we inevitably fall into the trap of taking a microscopic look at our lives and examining every aspect with the harshest lens. As a result, this can create a significant amount of pressure that tends to alter how we act, rationalise and make decisions. Trying to beat an invisible clock, we rush into decisions and onto paths that, in ordinary circumstances, we would not even consider.

So, to avoid the trap of your late 20s, the most important thing to do is to avoid rushing into any decisions, choices or paths that are made out of haste and despair.

It is so important that you understand that you aren’t running out of time. You have an ample amount of time to create the life that you want and can achieve your goals without placing a stress-inducing and intensive time frame on them.

To avoid feeling stressed or overwhelmed by your late 20s, we encourage you to first define what it is that you want to have achieved by the end of this decade. Identify what your indicator of success is, what the things are that are crucial to your happiness and what will allow you to enter your 30s in peace and happiness. In doing this, you can take actionable steps to achieve your goals and exit your 20s on a high. Moreover, through this step, you can rig the odds to be in your favour. You can create the life that you want without succumbing to external pressure or unplanned choices because you know what you want, how to get it and what it will bring you.

Stop the Compare and Despair

An imperative step we must take as adults to truly find joy in our lives is to stop comparing ourselves to others and stop falling into despair. Especially relevant as we approach 30, comparing ourselves to others is instrumental in setting yourself up for failure, resentment and despair.

There is truly no good that can come of looking into the lives of others to identify our own shortcomings, failures and misfortunes. A deeply unhealthy and dangerous habit, comparing yourself to others will create a detrimental amount of self-judgement that will impact how you see yourself, your achievements and your general life. Comparison will steal your joy, make you feel bad about yourself and encourage you to undermine your successes, achievements and goals.

While we know it is easier said than done, comparison is a habit that should be avoided at all costs to ensure that you can create a life that focuses on you, your wants, desires and goals, and not one that is based on what others have achieved, done or become.

Don’t Falter

Regardless of how many steps you take and how determined and resilient you are in avoiding pressure, the most vital step in avoiding the trap of your late 20s is to not falter or succumb to invisible and truly meaningless pressure.

Because that is what it is, meaningless and irrelevant pressure from external sources.

The narrative that once you hit your 30s, you are expired goods and that your individual goals, wants and desires are rendered meaningless because you should have achieved them earlier on in life is a narrative that is played out and outdated. Your wants, desires, goals, and dreams have as much value in your 30s as they did in your 20s, and your time spent chasing this is still valuable and of importance.

We encourage you to not falter as you approach your 30s and not put yourself on the back burner. Do not let others dictate and influence where you should place importance and hold value. Do not fall into the lives, roles and positions that others have created and expect of you.

Do not settle in circumstance because it is easier.

It is vital that in this life, you become the person that you want to be and not the idealised version of others.

Your early and late 20s are yours. As are your 30s. It is up to you to decide what you do and become, and as liberated, empowered and excited as you feel, entering your 20s is exactly how you should feel as you enter your 30s.